Time and place

I sat in an accountability group last night and heard a man share that his father had put him down when he was young. As a result, he said that he now has low self-esteem.

Something came over me that made me feel weak and shaky at the same time I felt bold and motivated: I began to speak. I said something to the extent that I could understand why he had low self esteem as a child - but why did he have that problem now that he was an adult? His father's influence was past history - he now had to own these feelings of inadequacy himself. He agreed. Then I asked him, "if I was a doctor and could hand you a pill which would end this in your life instantly, would you take that pill?"

"Oh yes!" he said and he began to show obvious signs of an emotional struggle.

"Well, I believe that Jesus wants to deliver you from this, right here, right now."

I was shaking as I said it, moved almost to tears myself. He nodded, and I was about to ask the group to join us and pray for this man's deliverance.

"OK, the next question on our worksheet asks, ..." it was the voice of the facilitator, who wanted to keep us 'on track and moving along.'

The moment passed. I don't know if the man found the deliverance he was seeking. I had scripture coming to mind that spoke of no longer being a slave to sin - I had my iBible open to the page, I think we would have seen something great happen in our midst.

I wish we had been able to see this thing broken in the life of my brother, but I guess it was not the time and place for a healing to take place.

I don't know which saddens me more: the fact that our schedule precluded a moving of the Holy Spirit in a powerful way, or the fact that I didn't make more of an effort to stop and pray for him on the spot. I can say this - our church very much supports the moving of the Holy Spirit - we certainly ask for it, pray for it, and normally fashion our services to encourage it. This just wasn't one of those times, I guess.

Lord - let me learn how to know your voice, and sense the moving of your Holy Spirit that no matter is going on around me, I will be ready to move as you direct. Even if it is not part of my plan for the moment, the hour, even the day. And especially if your plan is for me to sit under submission to the leaders you have set in place, humbly allowing you to be God, because I certainly am not God. I give you my time, my schedule, as I have already given you my life.

Amen.