"Whaaaat......"

What.

This response has never really worked for me. My wife was trying to tell me that my dog was doing some minor thing wrong. I think the critter was doing some adorable thing such as laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, or knocking over the Christmas tree, or licking inappropriate areas - some tiny thing like that...

My loving and gracious gift-from-God wife came in, hands on hips and announced, "He is chewing my slippers!"
I quietly and lovingly said, "She."
"What?" she asked, with a slight snap.
"She is chewing your slippers - it's a she."
"You know what she is, you who I'm talking about - don't correct me!"

And then I tried it - the one-size-fits-all answer: "What" You know, with the innocent upward look and the slightly shrugged shoulders. It's not really a question. The way teenagers do it when you have caught them doing something which they think is ok but which is illegal in several eastern states.

That sort of "what..." which really does NOT translate well in print. You know? THAT "what."

I may give up on this - I don't know if this is working without hearing it. Maybe you should just call me. Or come to the Variety show at our church this Sunday evening. Free dessert, lots of fun. And I'll be doing stand-up.

Come and do what you have wanted to do for years (if you know me at all) and laugh right in my face! You can even point and shout if you wish.